By Patty Kreiser
Last time, I wrote about the worst types of drivers in New York. While I was writing that piece, I thought about the worst driving habits one can have on the road. And as it turns out, I have a lot of them.
Let's start out with the worst thing you can do on the road: drinking while driving. After all, you might hit a bump and spill your drink. I'm kidding. Driving under the influence is probably the dumbest thing you can do. I mean, there's a thing called a designated driver. There are also taxi companies. There is no reason a person should ever operate a motor vehicle with six shots of vodka in him. I don't care if you crash and burn into oblivion on your own, but once you endanger the lives of others, I hope you really do burn in a fiery car wreck-alone, of course.
Also, tailgaters. You're rude, disrespectful and downright mean. Is it really necessary to ride the rear bumper of my car? Why do you feel the need to drive so close? Oh, that's right-because you think you own the road!
The worst tailgaters are the balding, mid-life crisis guys in their Ferraris. I hope you crash your expensive car into a thousand little pieces, and I hope you lose the rest of your hair in the process.
Multi-tasking is another terrible driving habit. There are several types of multi-tasking. My aunt told me the strangest multi-tasking story to date: she saw a woman trying to shave her legs while driving. She had a leg on the dashboard, one hand on the wheel and one hand wielding a razor. I have to give this woman credit for her flexibility; I also wish someone could smack her for her stupidity.
Not to be outdone, men also shave behind the wheel. If you have one of those cool electric razors that don't require shaving cream, it's probably less dangerous than shaving your legs. However, driving is a task that requires your full attention.
I have no idea how people do this, but how can you do your morning grooming routine while driving? It's one thing to apply Chapstick when you're on the road, but how the heck do you apply foundation, eyeliner and mascara while you're supposed to be keeping your eyes on the road? Unless you're amazingly talented, you probably need both hands to apply makeup and you need to look in the mirror to see what you're doing. So here's a solution to the makeup artist driver: unless you're really ugly, don't wear all that goop on your face! Or leave your house a few minutes late. Being late for something is much better than not showing up because you got in a car crash.
There are other types of multi-tasking. There's the dashboard diner-the person who eats behind the wheel. I don't see too much of a problem having french fries or small finger foods when driving, it's another thing to be shoving messy tacos down your face while speeding down the highway at 85 miles an hour. And how do you eat a bowl of cereal when you're driving? I will never master this eating-and-driving skill, so I shall never practice it.
Cell phone use is pretty bad, too. I'll admit to texting and driving. While I'm so addicted to texting that I can do it while still keeping my eyes on the road, I do have to read people's responses. But are things really that important that they can't wait 20 minutes until we get home? No.
Perhaps I should stop this habit. I truly hate it when texters are so absorbed in their messaging that they forget about driving and swerve in and out of the lanes. Just as bad as texting is talking on the phone. Unless you have speakerphone or BlueTooth or whatever they have nowadays, having your phone to your ear and only one hand on the wheel probably isn't the smartest choice you can make.
There's probably a ton of other bad habits, but I only have a limited amount of space to write my thoughts. Maybe next week I'll continue this list, unless I die in a car crash from texting too much.
Patty Kreiser is a junior broadcast journalism student. You may e-mail her at
pkreis1@pride.hofstra.edu.