By Compiled by The Chronicle Staff
In Calkins:
Guy: He said he was a 23-year-old and had never kissed a girl. He was really ugly.
In the Student Center:
Girl: You don't text someone at 2 in the morning saying, "What are you doing later?" for no reason.
Outside the Student Center:
Girl 1: What are you doing for spring break?
Girl 2: Having surgery.
In Bits & Bytes:
Girl: He's YOCOing so hard right now.
Guy: What?
Girl: You're Only Cute Online.
In the Student Center:
Girl: And then the wall and the bed were shaking so I worked on my paper since I was so disturbed.
Outside Davison:
Guy: Straight up kiss his a--. No homo.
Outside Adams Playhouse:
Girl: Saying "lolsy" is just taking it too far.
On the Intramural Field:
Girl: I hate telling you stuff like this.
Guy: Baby, you can tell me anything.
Girl: I'm late.
Guy: For what?
Outside Davison:
Girl 1: You b---h. Are we matching tonight?
Girl 2: I hope not, because your boobs look so much better than mine.
In the Student Center:
Girl: My dad told me yesterday that I should go on an all-juice diet.
Outside the Student Center:
Girl: I dated a convict once. I was kind of like a rehabilitation program. My vagina should be tax-exmpt.
In Breslin:
Guy: Yeah, look at those thunder thighs.
Girl 1: No, stop. Now she's not gonna eat for a week.
Girl 2: Thanks, guys.
In Class:
Girl 1: I'm not drinking this whole break.
Girl 2: I'm gonna call shenanigans on that statement.