By The Chronicle Staff
In the Student Center:
Girl: She wasn't even Asian; she was an imposter.
On the Blue Beetle:
Driver: The brakes? Yeah, they work. There's just something wrong with them."
In Class:
Professor: How is everyone's Valentine's Day going?
Guy: Oh, s--t!
Outside Estabrook:
Guy: They sell euros. They buy them for mad cheap and then sell them.
In the Student Center:
Girl: Orchids with some roses in them. Eighty-five dollars!
In the Student Center:
Girl 1: I haven't eaten all day.
Girl 2: It's okay. I saw Wendy Williams today.
Outside Monroe:
Girl: What the hell is your status about? Frowny face? Really?
Near Hofstra Hall:
Girl 1: So, you're telling me it was bad to make out with his sister?
Girl 2: Considering he's your boyfriend, yes.
In The Chronicle Office:
Guy: I've been ejaculating red, white, and blue for the past two hours.