By The Chronicle Staff
In Enterprise Hall:
Girl: Oh, I love that smell! It smells like my grandma's garden.
Guy: Huh? I smell marijuana.
Girl: Oh...
In the Student Center:
Guy: If I ever married someone who was a vegetarian, I would shove meat down her throat.
In class:
Professor: These judges were appointed by John Adams.
International Student: Was he like a judge or something?
Professor: No. He was the second president of the United States.
Guy: Who the hell let you in the country?
In Hammer Lab:
Girl: If you were a vegetarian, would you eat animal crackers?
Inside Au Bon Pain:
Girl 1: Hofstra is so boring.
Girl 2: Tell me about it. The last crazy thing to happen was that girl who cried rape.
On the Unispan:
Guy: That's the most hispanic way to murder someone--make them food and poison it.
In Dempster Hall:
Girl 1: I've been doing so good with my diet!
Girl 2: Good for you!
Girl 1: Yeah, I haven't been drinking liquids... Only water!
In class:
Professor: I'll hit you so hard your parents will die.
In Salem House:
Guy 1: So I hooked up with Michelle last night.
Guy 2: Oh! You mean Michelle [last name]! I hooked up with her last year.
Guy 1: So she's like the village bicycle?
Guy2: If the village was a vibrating seat, yeah.