By Anna Aphrodesia
A few weeks ago temptation got the best of me and I did something that I completely regret. Before you jump to the conclusion that I cheated on my boyfriend, allow me to explain.
I found myself alone in my boyfriend's room. After flipping through channels and finding nothing on TV, his cell phone caught my eye. I made sure he wasn't coming and then I proceeded to go through his text messages.
I didn't find anything particularly shocking or deserving of an explanation, until I stumbled upon texts from his ex. They were nothing more than the cursory "How have you been?" etc., but I couldn't help but to feel upset.
Of course, I couldn't exactly confront him about it without incriminating myself. I knew that I shouldn't have been looking through his phone in the first place. In fact, I didn't even have any excuse, other than sheer curiosity, that compelled me to do it. I was in the healthiest relationship I'd ever been in, we had never fought, and most importantly, he had never given me reason to believe that he was up to no good.
As soon as I heard him coming back into the room, I put his phone back and tried to pretend I hadn't seen a thing. Unfortunately, I am not the best at hiding my emotions. He knew something was wrong (people who didn't even know me could probably tell something was wrong). I continued to deny that something was bothering me, but later that night we got into a fight.
Talking to my friends about the situation, I received mixed reviews. Some didn't see anything wrong with what I had done, others thought I crossed the line.
I knew that what I did was wrong. I mean, I had intentionally checked to make sure he wasn't coming when I did it. But, I couldn't help but to make excuses for my actions.
I recalled an article that I had read in a magazine that was like a smart girl's guide to snooping. Realizing that I had followed all the steps and had not gotten caught, I didn't feel like a smart girl. A smart girl wouldn't be dating someone whose things she had to shift through to make sure he was faithful. There didn't seem to be anything smart about snooping at all.
Some of my friends reminded me of the theory that if you have nothing to hide then snooping shouldn't be a problem. I have a hard time accepting this idea because no matter how intimate or close you may be with your partner, he or she always has a right to privacy.
No matter which way I looked at it, I was in the wrong. My friends that said I had crossed a line were right. I certainly wouldn't want my boyfriend to go through my phone, not that he would find anything shocking. But, I shouldn't have to justify my texts or e-mails or other personal matters and I shouldn't expect the same from him.
Needless to say I apologized and everything worked out.
The temptation to snoop will always exist, but trust always trumps temptation.