By Compiled by The Chronicle Staff
In the Student Center:
Guy: I need you to help me do a bibliography. Please, I'm bad at them too.
At Relay for Life:
Guy: I'm about to lose my s--t. I'm a frat guy -- I'm not supposed to lose my s--t.
In Bits & Bytes:
Guy 1: You're always so nice to people you don't know.
Guy 2: If they only knew what kind of sick, twisted f--k I really am.
Outside the Student Center:
Girl: I can't stand bitches these days.
In The Chronicle Office:
Girl: When in doubt, it's probably best not to use the word 'penis.'
Outside the Axinn Library:
Guy: Blunt between three and four? Sure, I can pencil you in.
In the Student Center:
Guy: I know sometimes breathing can be difficult. Not everyone can do it.
In the Student Center:
Guy: She's trying to back-door you, bro. Back-door her way into our formal.
In the Student Center:
Guy 1: We're still going to the bar tonight, right?
Guy 2: Why wouldn't we be?
In the Student Center:
Girl: I still have that guy's number who threatened at the bar, "No blondies!"
In the Student Center:
Girl: So I told him, if he doesn't eat me, I'm leaving.
In the Student Center:
Guy: Her nose was so far in the air that she hasn't seen her tits in years.
In The Chronicle Office:
Guy: I haven't seen my upper lip in nearly 40 years.