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Overheard at Hofstra

By Complied by the Hofstra Chronicle

In Class:

Professor: Who gives a s--t about Rhode Island? They weren't even at the Constitutional Convention. What contributions have they made?

Girl: That's where Pauly D is from.

In Class:

Professor: I'm not an elitist. I believe everybody should get As.

Outside Breslin:

Guy 1: Dude, she was only like a five.

Guy 2: Wow. How f---ed up was I?

Guy 1: Really f--ked up. I pretended to be your boyfriend to save you.

On the Shuttle:

Guy: I'll just drop out of school and become a goat herder.

In the Student Center:

Girl: I'm so mad. I not only dropped my booze, but I can't wear those shoes any more.

On the Unispan:

Girl 1: He really loved her.

Girl 2: Yeah, he took care of that b---h.

In the Student Center

Guy 1: Her name sounds like a porn star name.

Guy 2: Or a rare Australian fruit.

Outside the Shuart Stadium

Guy: I tried to use the bathroom but it was locked. So I peed next to it.

Outside Bill of Rights:

Girl: They're paper airplanes! It's paper that flies in the air!

Outside Bits & Bites:

Girl: I start diets on Mondays; you know I start diets on Mondays!

At Bar Social:

Guy 1: Dude, if it weren't for Wikipedia, I wouldn't be graduating this spring.

Guy 2: Yeah, man. I mean, classes are hard.

In Breslin:

Guy: Man, growing up sucks.

In Breslin:

Professor: There's nothing to do in Storres, Connecticut. So people get stoned.

In Breslin:

Professor: Turn the lights up a hair. (Pause) That's more than a hair. That's a bouffant.

In Class:

Professor: Tests are bulls--t.

In Breslin:

Professor: I was on her and she was large. Let the record show, I'm talking about a boat.

In the Student Center:

Guy 1: He had a small piece of paper on his lap the whole time.

Guy 2: He cheated on that test like he cheated on his girlfriend.


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