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Armchair Observations: A Humor Column

By Matt Napolitano, Humor Columnist

 

It was bad enough as a Jets fan to have seen a Giants-Patriots Super Bowl once, but now the cruel work of the football gods is at hand. A Super Bowl 42 rematch.

If you're a Jets fan like me, you kept slapping yourself in the face repeatedly to awake from this nightmare.  However, my Gang Green cadre, this is all too real.  Our cross-town rival and our division rival are clashing in a game we have not played in since its third installment.  Super Bowl 46 is for Big Blue and the Pats.  46 is also the number of beers I plan on drinking to help me forgot about this disaster.

However, there are friends in this battle: Philadelphia Eagles fans.

Now I know there is a long standing feud between New York and Philadelphia.  Mets-Phillies, Rangers-Flyers, Hofstra-Drexel, there is no love lost between the City of Brotherly Love and the City That Never Sleeps.  However, it is time to make an alliance a la Survivor.  The time has come to lay down the arms for one day.

That day is Super Bowl Sunday.

Jets fans, Eagles fans know what you're going through.  They are watching their NFC East foe fight the team that denied them the Vince Lombardi Trophy (and me several dollars in a pool).  Eagles fans, Jets fans get it.  It's a coordinator's fault that you didn't make the playoffs and now have to watch your enemies fight for your title.

And let's face it, any fan can unite on the point that there's not even a halftime show to look forward to.  Seriously, NFL, Madonna is what you come up with?  Do you know Madonna's fan base?  They'll probably ask why Madonna is holding a concert with a football game as an opening act and think it is avant garde.  Yeah, you made me use avant garde, I hope you're happy.

Also, Madonna hasn't done a sporting event performance since the 1927 World Series.  Do you really think a leather catcher's mitt is the best thing for a football game? I think not.

I digress.  Back to why unity is important for Jets and Eagles fans.  Look, we're all depressed and we're all not looking forward to this as much as we would like to.  However, let's make the best of it together.  We understand when the other fan is going to need a shoulder to cry on.  We understand when the other fan will want to throw a bowl of chili at the television.  We understand when the other fan will take their rage out on a wall.

So let's stick together through Super Bowl 46.  The next day, we can go back to spewing hatred at one another.  For now, Jets fans and Eagles fans unite in the name of buffalo wings, camaraderie, and the hopeful option of stadium implosion on Sunday.

Jake's Health Corner

Hofstra's 63rd Shakespeare Festival