By The Chronicle Staff
In Hammer Lab:
Girl: I need to CTRL-Z my way back back to life.
In Dempster Hall:
Guy: I like my sex like I like my pillars. Sharp and slippery.
In Constitution Hall:
Girl 1: Chronicle rules! I was in there last week.
Girl 2: You were in the public safety briefs?
Girl: That girl has ashes on her head.
Guy: What does that mean?
Girl: I don't know, I'm a Jew!
In the Student Center:
Girl 1: Sometimes I wish I was blind.
Girl 2: I know. People in this school are so ugly.
Guy: This turkey burger from Hofstra USA tastes like a mix between McDonald's and dolphin meat
Guy: Hofstra U. is having events for Women's History Month. Their bookstore has Playboy photography books for sale. You've come a long way, baby.
Girl: So I'm rewatchin da game & jus noticed there was dis girl at da hofstra student section wit sum damn sunglasses on...BITCH u are indoors!