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KFC close to coronary with Double Down

By Ryan Broderick, Editor-In-Chief

The KFC Double Down should make you very upset. When you look at its two massive pieces of fried chicken used as bread to sandwich pieces of bacon, monterey and pepper jack cheese and something orange and tangy called "Colonel's sauce" you should feel nauseated and ashamed.

It looks like the exact reason the Taliban wants to kill us.

So let's break down what exactly this horrible pile of meats is all about. First off, to give you an idea about how KFC sees The Double Down, their website describes it thusly:

"This product is so meaty, there's no room for a bun!" Also, possibly the most telling detail of their recent advertisements is their opening tagline of "The new KFC Double Down sandwich is real!" It's nice to know a company selling me food is reassuring me that their meal is, in fact, a real thing, assuming that I'd think it was a joke.

Also, the thing comes in grilled and fried. Just in case someone doesn't want to gain too much weight.

Speaking of which, The Double Down has 540 calories, 32 grams of fat and whopping 1380 milligrams sodium. A Big Mac has 540 calories, 29 grams of fat and 1040 milligrams of sodium. I'm not sure what's more frightening, The Double Down's nutritional facts or the idea that when compared to the Big Mac, the chicken sandwich that is actually chicken sandwiching bacon isn't too bad.

That should bother you.

But how does this fast food Franken-thing taste? Not terribly, which isn't surprising when you think about its core components. It's just a bunch of things that taste good holding together other things that taste good. All that really gets in the way of enjoying it is the sheer reality of what you're doing when you eat it.

The Double Down is what happened when a fast food company said, "I totally bet those fat idiots won't eat this.

The sad thing is, we ate it.

Editor-In-chief, Ryan Broderick, bravely takes a bite of the newest KFC meal, the infamous “Double Down.” (David Gordon/ The Chronicle)

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