By Chelsea Tirrell, Columnist
"Ew, my boyfriend cheated on me last weekend. I'm for sure getting rid of him," says friend number one.
"But, didn't you make out with that other guy at Nacho's this weekend?" replies friend number two.
"That's different."
Sound familiar? The cheating burden has forever been placed on all the men. However, we must not forget that as women, because we are just as guilty of the crime yet we seem to pin it on men when discussing the problem.
According to several studies, it's been proven that females cheat just as much as (and sometimes more than) men. A whopping 70 percent of women initiate divorces.
It always starts the same way. The woman is head over heels with what would seem like the guy of her dreams. At first, she can't keep her hands off of him and convinces herself that she'd never be the type to cheat. But then, his tendencies start to irk her, she's dissatisfied in bed, and she needs a release. So she's on the prowl for a guy who can satisfy her current needs and once she finds him – usually in a drunken stupor – she cheats.
Problem number one is that she'll blame the alcohol and state that she just wasn't being herself. But if roles were reversed, and her guy drunkenly made out with another girl, she'd be infuriated and tell him that "you aren't that absent minded when you drink."
While alcohol may give girls the extra push they need to cheat, sober cheating is just as prominent. Instead of working out the problems at hand, she tries to alleviate them by finding someone else. She thinks that this will make her happier, but in reality she's carrying a 100-pound guilt weight on her shoulders. She becomes angry with herself and paranoid that maybe her partner's cheating as well.
So she begins to get defensive and snoop around but all she's doing is adding fuel to the fire. She's concerned that her boyfriend is cheating but not worried that she's the one to blame for her distancing relationship. It's hypocrisy. All she's doing is encouraging her guy to poke around and then she's screwed. Well, not by him anymore, but you know what I mean.
So he finds out. He doesn't want anything to do with her at first but she puts on her pouty face and tells him that she doesn't want him to go. She realizes what she'll be losing and tries to get him back in some cases. And when she wants him back, she's got to have him.
Now let's just say that he's strong enough to stay away. She'll then start bantering to her friends about what a jerk he was, how hurtful and insensitive he acted, and how sketchy his actions were. I'm sorry, but didn't she just describe herself?
If she does reconcile with her guy and finds out later that he's been cheating on her, she should be putting herself in his shoes. If he took the time to forgive and put his trust back in her, then she should mirror that. If she believes that all is fair in love and war, then be fair. Don't hold the poor guy to a double standard.
The entire mess can be avoided if they both accepted the fact that they were in a monogamous relationship. But fidelity would be too difficult. Instead, they ignore their status and do what they want. After all, isn't that what a relationship is? Maybe not now, but at this rate that's what it's becoming.